A Visit to a Trans Sex Party

(originally published in TGForum on September 12, 2016)

Word was that another transgender sex party would happen on Saturday. It had been a few months since the last one. I checked the fetlife.com website, read the invitation and sent a message to the organizer who then gave me the address.

The address was for an industrial building in the East Bay. I arrived around 7 p.m. and opened the door with two pink balloons on it.

There were big loudspeakers along one wall. The music is a combination of hip-hop and ‘pole dancing’ beats.

The dimly lit stage was about 20’ x 30’ and was covered with mattresses, futons, and people upon. I went to the opposite side where there were chairs and a curtain. I took off my pants and top, revealing a slip mini-dress with panties and thigh-high ‘stay-up’ nylons and looked over the crowd.

Many of the faces are familiar. I have been to sex parties before and there are many regulars. One stunning trans lady, then unknown, introduced herself and her friends. Others were new, around 50 men, women, and trans women of all ages and sizes. This party welcomes the “trans attracted” as well as the trans (others are more restricted).

A man is kneeling, going down on a trans girl with short femme hair, a ruffled bikini top, and nothing else. A black guy, endowed and naked scans the crowd. A lovely trans-girl was dressed in a stylized maid’s uniform. More oral and intercourse is happening on stage. A group of trans-women are pleasuring each other. The edge of the stage has piles of (mandatory) condoms, lube, towels, and a box of under-used whips and paddles — “dungeon furniture” being notably absent.

A man asks if it is okay to touch me and I let him feel me up for awhile. Later a friend tickles my fancy while we talk about model trains.

Most of the people are not doing anything particularly sexual — they hang out talking. There is a table with food mostly eaten and a few wine containers mostly empty. There is a long bathroom line and a smoking area outside.

After more friends come and go, I wander home, happy that there are so many trans girls that celebrate their sexuality.

Transgender sex parties happen all over the world. London has one (or more) each week. You find out about them by word-of-mouth or by looking on a fetish Internet site, as I did. You usually have to convince the organizer that you know the basics of sex party etiquette, which comes down to “ask first” and “take no thank you for an answer.” Most cities have a BDSM society, like the Society of Janus in San Francisco, which offer orientations. BDSM societies usually have a sub-group of sexually active trans people who can clue you in.


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